Saying Yes to Every Invite and Doing Something Outside of My Comfort Zone Every Day

After having lots of problems and being on the receiving end of some rather nasty jokes in the second year of my time at university, I completely lost my confidence and stopped going out and often turned down invitations because I found it too intimidating. I felt like I couldn’t talk to people and socialise with them at my uni because I thought that everything I said would be turned into a joke behind my back.

This fear has pretty much ruled my entire university experience and I experienced crippling FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) so I have decided recently, with just 3 months to go till I finish university, that I am going to make the most of this time and I am going to say yes to every invite I receive. I’m going to fight that little voice in my head that always tells me i’m not wanted and I’m not welcome.

I also decided to start doing something outside of my comfort zone every day, whether that be going to the gym alone, trying a new technique with my art (I ventured into the screen printing workshop for the first time recently) or reaching out to people more. I mean whats the worst that can happen? they say no? I’ve even been on a night out alone.

Reaching out to people and asking them to hang out terrifies me because in my mind, even if I haven’t spoken to them for a couple of weeks, I think I’m being too clingy. I know this isn’t the case however and this idea is holding me back. I always think when I ask someone to hang out that they’re going to think “who is this girl? we’ve only hung out on a night out once, we’ve only spoken a handful of times”- This is a pretty toxic way of thinking. If you don’t ask people you’ve only met a handful of times but think you’d get on well with to hang out, how do you ever make new friends?

Several of the people I’ve reached out to, I later told that asking them to hang out had been terrifying for me and its not something I usually do and they told me that they don’t ever reach out to new people for the same reason.

since I’ve been doing this I’ve made new connections, found myself being invited to parties and growing my social circle and my confidence has increased tremendously.

Through my increased confidence, I’ve also found myself going on nights out alone. I never set out to go out on my own, I start pre-drinking with my friends and then they decide to go home before we make it to a club and I’m not ready to go home so I stay in town and head to the clubs on my own. I don’t recommend doing this unless you’re absolutely certain that the town you’re in is safe. I wouldn’t do this in my hometown, however currently I am living in a small cornish town where there isn’t much happening and I know I’m perfectly safe. I also live right in the town centre so I can get home quickly and easily if there is a problem, unlike at home where I live several miles out from town, in a Village.

I’ve thought about going out alone on several occasions but never did because I thought people would think I’m weird, that I’m sad. Instead when people find out that I’ve gone out on my own, I’m met with kudos, smiles, high fives. Nobody has laughed at me for it, they all tell me how impressed they are. I also feel a sensation of empowerment in doing this, as strange as it sounds. I’ve never felt more independent, I even proclaimed after a few too many drinks one night that I’m a strong independent woman, and I’m so much more confident.

Some of the best nights out that I have been on in Cornwall have been ones I’ve done alone.

Through all of these things, I’ve found myself growing in confidence, my social calendar has never been more full and I’m learning that I do not need other people to have a great time. It’s been a huge step forward in learning to love myself.

This post has been lots of talking about myself, but if you take anything from it, you don’t need other people to have fun, you are your own best friend, and you should give pushing yourself and doing one thing outside of your comfort zone every day a go

 

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A Week in Rhodes, Greece

to celebrate graduating from university this summer, my friend and I booked ourselves a holiday to Kremasti, a small town on the Greek island of Rhodes.

Kremasti is a quiet town, but we still found plenty to do. We stayed in a studio apartment at the Emerald Studios hotel, on a bed and breakfast deal, which meant that we had our own kitchenette so we didn’t have to eat out every day which made it a lot cheaper.

Because we only payed £400 each and the hotel is a 3*, we went in not expecting much but we were pleasantly surprised. the room was basic but it was clean, comfortable and perfectly positioned with a balcony overlooking the pool. The hotel itself was small but hosted plenty of pool space and sun loungers.

We flew out to Rhodes from London Stansted on Wednesday ,July 4th, not arriving at the hotel till 2am on July 5th and so decided that Thursday, our first full day, would be a pool day. We divided our time between splashing about in the pool and sunbathing on sun loungers at the side of the pool.

On Friday, July 6th, we decided to get the bus into Rhodes City (Kremasti was a 20 minute bus journey from Rhodes) to explore the old town and visit the palace of the grand master.

The Old Town was stunning. It was so much bigger than I’d expected and busy with little shops selling all sorts of tourist merchandise. It was packed with interesting restaurants too. There was so much to see and so much history, I was in my element.

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After visiting the Palace of The Grand Master, it must have taken us a good two hours to find our way out of the old city where we then found a beach. I couldn’t get over how incredibly blue the water was. The photo below hasn’t been edited at all, that really is how blue the sea was. I also nearly fell into the sea fully clothed just after this photo was taken. Oops.

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That day in Rhodes was unbearably hot, I was sweating in places I didn’t think possible but it was so worth the sweat.

After that day, we didn’t leave our hotel again until Tuesday, the day before we came home, because it was too hot to do anything but lounge around by the pool.

Lounging around the pool taught me just how little grace I possess. We bought ourselves pool inflatables. I bought a pineapple rubber ring and my friend a lilo. I got into a fight with the pineapple. The pineapple won and made for this fantastic photo set.IMG_0629IMG_0630

I had similar fights with the lilo.  I never did master the art of sitting gracefully in my pineapple. As well as the images above, I jumped onto it and fell straight through, I landed in such a way that a jet of water was sent between my legs and straight into my face, I lost it getting out of the pool and hit a complete stranger in the face with it but everyone saw the funny side.

Our last full day in Greece was much cooler than previously so we took advantage of this and went back into the city to explore the many shops they had that we don’t in the English West Country before heading back to Kremasti for one final night before checking out of our hotel and flying home.

During our time in Kremasti we were treated to some spectacular sunsets, We laughed a lot, befriended some lovely people who made our holiday and I had a fantastic time.

I will definitely be revisiting Rhodes in the future.

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My Favourite One Tree Hill Quotes

I love One Tree Hill. I freaking love it. I grew up watching it. I’ve rewatched it hundreds of times since and every time I rewatch it, it feels almost like home. I’ve even met members of the cast (Mouth McFadden, Skills Taylor, Nanny Carry, Mia Catalano, Chris Keller, and Taylor James).

I love everything about One Tree Hill. The characters, the storylines, the life lessons, the soundtracks, the cheese. Everything.

The thing I love most is the quotes. They’re cheesy and sometimes cliched but they’re thought provoking and beautiful so I thought I’d share my favourites with the world.

    1.” You ever look at a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other peoples life have we been in. Were we a part of someones life when their dream came true or were we there when their dream died. Did we keep trying to get in? as if we were somehow destined to be there or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone elses life, and not even know it.”

2. “Every song ends, but is that any reason to not enjoy the music?” – I actually have this one engraved on a bracelet

    3. “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, stumble and fall, because most of the time,     the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. maybe you’ll get everything you wish for. Maybe you’ll get more than you could have ever imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end the journey is the destination.”- This quote speaks so much truth. pushing myself way out of my comfort zone for a job last summer has made a huge impact on my life. The job terrified me and pushed me to do things I never thought I’d be able to do and I loved every minute of it and this job has changed everything I wanted to do with my life.

 4. “All you can do is your best, okay?”

   5. “Live for the moment because everything else is uncertain. Take advantage of whats right in front of you.”

Getting My Nose Pierced

Anyone who knows me will know that I’ve talked about getting my nose pierced since I was 14 but I never got it done out of fear. The last piercing I had were my seconds when I was 14 and despite being done professionally, they went horribly wrong and I ended up in A&E on the gas and air while doctors pulled at the earring with a pair of “pliers” on either side of my ear. This traumatised me and I’ve been too scared to get another piercing since.

2 weeks ago, I was shopping in Truro with a friend who was going to get her nipple bars changed and at the same time, she turned around to me and said “why don’t you get your nose pierced while we’re here?” so I did. It was impulsive and a huge step for me.

Does a nose piercing hurt?

Yes. People always told me that it was just a quick pinch and that it doesn’t hurt that much. I found it to be a more intense pain than just a pinch, it was enough to make me gasp, but it was over quickly.

I also learned that nose piercings bleed. I have no idea why, but I always assumed a nose piercing would be like an ear piercing and not really bleed that much but boy was I wrong. My nose bled quite a lot and I had a bloody ring around the piercing for a few days that I couldn’t clean off because it would make it bleed more.

The bleeding lasted a couple of days. Not constantly, but I did find myself in McDonalds on one occasion with a serviette stuffed up my nose to try and stop it bleeding.

It was tender for a few days. My nose twitches like a rabbit when I laugh, much to the amusement of my friends, and when I found myself crying with laughter at a facebook video, I had to hold the nostril I had pierced from the bottom to stop it twitching.

When my nose piercing was 2 days old, I woke up with a sharp pain going through my nose because I’d hit myself in the face while sleeping and woke myself up, and I’ve caught it once or twice while in the shower/ while washing my face but two weeks on, I feel like I’ve had it forever and barely notice it.

I’m still cleaning it twice daily using a saline solution and cotton buds and having to go for regular check ups at the piercers due to my history with piercings and so far so good.

I love the piercing and I’m so glad I overcame my fear and had it done

 

Thoughts on Finishing My Degree

3 years ago on September 12th 2015, I moved 220 miles away from my home in the Cotswolds to the south coast of Cornwall to start a degree in Fine Art. 2 weeks ago, May 11th 2018, I finished my degree, and today, May 29th, I found out that I will be graduating with a 2:1!

I have very mixed feelings about finishing my degree and finishing university. Uni has been both the longest and the fastest 3 years of my life. It’s been the hardest but also the best. It’s taken me until just weeks before the end of my time here to find a group of friends that I’m happy with and feel comfortable with (I mean maybe the fact that I threw up and passed out the first time I met them all has something to do with that. oops) and as a result I’m not ready for everyone to go their separate ways just yet but I’m sure some of my friends and I will stay in touch. heck one of them and I are off to Greece for a week in July.

At no point during my 3 years at uni have I got on with the people I live with, and I feel I would have been better off living alone but not liking the people I was living with certainly encouraged me to get out and socialise more and find more opportunities.

I had a horrendous second year, which for ages I blamed other people for. I’ve since realised that every problem I had was a byproduct of my poor mental health. I wanted to drop out of uni, I spent most of my days alone in my bedroom, I phoned my parents in tears every day and I didn’t think I would ever finish my degree.

3rd year has been my best year by far, I’ve pushed myself, achieved things I didn’t think I would, I’ve made loads of friends and will most certainly look back on my time at uni fondly as a result.

Upon finishing my degree, I’m excited to be finished, scared about the future but also excited about what the future might bring, sad to be leaving Falmouth but also excited to move back to cheltenham, where my family are and all my old friends will be.

April Favourites

As April draws to a close, I thought I’d compile a list of all the things I’ve been absolutely loving this month to share with the world.

  1. The ASOS DESIGN denim jacket in polka dot print here

I bought this jacket on a whim/ as a birthday present to myself. It’s so loud and totally out of my comfort zone in terms of fashion but I’m in love.

The first time I wore it out and about I was nervous to do so but I received so many comments on it. So many people asked me where I’d bought it from! I even had guys ask me if it was unisex because they wanted it.

2. ASOS FACEMASK pom pom flat sandals here

due to the fact its only April, I’m yet to actually wear these outside but I’m absolutely in love with them and can’t wait for summer to be able to wear them

3. Terrace House

I’ve loved this show for a couple of years but they’ve recently released a new series of it on Netflix. If you haven’t already heard of it, it is a Japanese reality show in which 6 young strangers, 3 boys and 3 girls, are thrown together in the most stunning houses. A bit like Love Island, they’re all attractive and all single, but they’re aloud to come and go as they please, keep up their jobs, keep their phones and continue to hang out with their friends outside the house.

the show shows the girls chatting in the bathroom, and the guys bonding over laundry. It shows them doing every day mundane tasks.

Between each scene, the show cuts to a panel of comedians who discuss and dissect what we’ve just seen.

It shouldn’t be so interesting but it really is. It’s so strangely addictive watching people go about their normal daily lives and its so different to what we would usually think of as reality tv (you know what I mean, the on screen sex acts, screaming matches, celebrities eating insects)

4.Full House

I tried watching Fuller House when that premiered last year and couldn’t get into it (likely because I hadn’t seen Full House and therefore didn’t understand it) and I recently found it on uk Netflix while searching for something else to watch having finished terrace house and finally finishing Greys Anatomy.

It’s ever so funny and heart warming. Uncle Jesse and Michelle melt my heart.

Plus, young John Stamos 😍

5. McDonalds

Its deadline season, I’ve been working 9am-10pm in the studio most days. By the time my friend and I leave uni, its too late to want to start cooking so we head straight to McDonalds for a “wrap of the day” fix and a creme egg McFlurry.

6.Beach Trips

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As anyone from Britain would know, we had a heatwave towards the end of April which meant lunch trips to the beach to enjoy the sun and weekends spent at the beach.

Unfortunately for me, I’m so fair skinned that even slathering myself in factor 50 every 30 minutes, I managed to burn.

7. Blood Brothers

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If you went to school or are at school in Britain then you’ve almost certainly heard of this. If you haven’t, you’re missing out.

The Willy Russell musical about twins separated at birth is just fantastic. It’s got the balance of comedy and tragedy perfect. It’ll make you belly laugh and want to cry all in the space of about 2 hours.

It came to Hall For Cornwall, my local theatre, the week of my birthday so my parents took me to see it as a birthday treat. It was the 3rd time I’ve seen it and the best performance of it that I’ve seen so far. So good it had the entire audience on their feet, cheering, at the end of it.

 

Top 5 Pieces of Piano Music I Want To Learn

I’ve been playing piano since I was 7 years old, thats 15 years.  I’ve always liked a challenge and always aspire to learn big pieces. It takes me years to do but it keeps me motivated. I set myself the challenge of learning Chopin’s Nocturne in C sharp Minor when I was just 11 years old. I didn’t learn it till I was 18/19 but knowing during those 7-8 years that I would learn that piece eventually motivated me. Since I’ve learned that, I’ve started looking for other pieces of music to aim to learn one day and this is my top 5 pieces.

  1. Be Our Guest- Beauty and the Beast (arr. Kristen Mosca) Here

I know you’re probably all thinking “Be our guest isn’t that difficult” but alas, it is. This specific version is a ragtime arrangement of the piece and I’m obsessed but I can’t get my hands to co-operate with that many chords to play

2. American Beauty Rag- Joseph Lamb here

Ragtime is my current obsession. This one is definitely within my capabilities, I’m just so busy with uni right now that I don’t have time to sit down and learn it but as soon as I’ve handed in my final project I WILL be playing this.

3. Maple Leaf Rag- Scott Joplin here

ANOTHER Ragtime piece. shocker. I also believe this to be within my capabilities but a more challenging piece. I don’t think it’s one I’ll be able to pick up quickly but if I persevere at it, I will.

4. Nocturne, Op.9: No. 2 in E flat Major here

Anyone that knows me can tell you that Chopin is by far my favourite composer. I adore his music and have done since I first heard it on the soundtrack of The Pianist when I was about 11.

5. Mingxin Du – Shui Cao Wu (Dance of The Waterweeds)here

I heard this piece because it was on the ABRSM Grade 7 syllabus a couple of years ago and I thought it was beautiful and I had to learn it. I bought the Grade 7 book for this piece only but I’ve found it extremely difficult and I’m yet to actually learn it but I will.

22 Things I’ve Learned in 22 Years

I was born at 12:34am on Saturday April 13th 1996 which means that today, Friday April 13th 2018, I’m celebrating my 22nd birthday.

In celebration of turning 22, I thought I would schedule (I’m out at The Lost Gardens of Heligan, St Austell, right now)  this list 22 things I’ve learned in 22 years

 

1. People Come and Go

As the saying goes, Friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime. As a teenager my mum was always telling me this, each time I got upset as friends drifted. Life is changing all the time, for everyone. Everyone’s lives are leading them in different directions, different work places may mean different towns, new social circles etc. Drifting is inevitable.

It hurts when a friend stops talking to you, especially when it’s someone you’ve been friends with for a long time and just because you’ve not found a best friend who you can count on for anything yet doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. My mum didn’t meet hers until she was pregnant with me, 22 years ago. I still haven’t met mine.

2. Do Things Outside of Your Comfort Zone- It’ll increase your confidence tremendously.

it may even change your outlook on life completely. I did something last year that was way out of my comfort zone and it pushed me to do things I never thought I would do. almost a year on, I’ve continued doing things outside of my comfort zone and that one snap decision to apply for a job that was so outside of my comfort zone has changed my outlook and ambitions completely.

 

3. Don’t be afraid to act goofy in public because you’re worried what people might think. They don’t care.

seriously they don’t. If anyone is looking, 99.9% of the time they aren’t judging. Instead they’re likely thinking “They look like fun”

4. Be Nice To Everyone

This isn’t always easy, some people will really test your patience, but it pays to be nice to everyone. Everyone is going through something, whether its big or small, and a nice gesture as small as a smile in passing on the street could make their day.

5.Be Careful What You Do and Say on Social Media. Don’t Post anything You Wouldn’t Want Friends, Family and Potential Employers to See.

this one is one that came back to bite me on the arse. I tweeted about something that someone had done that annoyed me and got into trouble for it.

6. No-one is better than you, They may be your equal but they’re not better.

At a time when my self esteem was at rock bottom, my dad would frequently tell me that nobody, not one person, is better than me. They may be my equal but they’re certainly not better.

We all start life the same way and we all leave earth in the same way so what makes one person superior to anyone else?

7. While you can learn to like some things, others you can’t.

I’ve tried and tried to like both cheese and tomatoes and it just won’t happen. I still believe both to be the spawn of the devil

8. The things worth having don’t come easy.

Your dream job, a house, a car, money, success, even a relationship, require effort and hard work. They won’t just happen if you don’t work for them.

9. A Trip to The Beach Can Fix Everything.

I’ve spent the last 3 years living on the south coast of Cornwall, not far from lands end. During the last 3 years, as mentioned in previous posts, I’ve experienced some of the hardest times of my life and there was nothing that a trip to the beach couldn’t fix. It didn’t matter how low I felt, how distraught I was or how anxious I was, a trip to the beach would instantly calm me and I’d go home feeling so much better.

10. Don’t Be Afraid To Say “No”

while I’m an advocate for saying yes to every opportunity, you shouldn’t be afraid to say no to things otherwise you may burn yourself out.

11. Save Save Save.

I’m talking money here. Put aside a sum of money each month (obviously leaving yourself enough to live on and still have fun). You never know when you might need a money cushion to fall back on.

12. Stop Dwelling on Mistakes.

You can replay a mistake over and over in your mind, I know, I do it enough, but that’s not going to change it. Accept you made a mistake, learn from it and move on.

13. Follow your Passions.

if you’re passionate about something, go ahead and do that. Don’t let someone make you feel silly about your passions. I’ve been told countless times by people that they think my dedication to guiding is lame and it doesn’t matter but truth be told, it matters far more to me than they do. If I had taken on board what these people said and given up, I wouldn’t be a guide leader now, I wouldn’t have made the friends I’ve made and I wouldn’t be giving pre-teens the fabulous experience I got to have as a pre-teen, teaching them the skills I learned, helping them uncover new interests and passions and there’s nothing more rewarding. I’ve been told that my face lights up when someone mentions guides to me.

14. Volunteer

you’ll make new friends, pad out your cv with experience and most importantly give back to your community. Volunteering doesn’t have to be boring. It’s actually great fun, it just depends what you do.

15. Not Everyone Will Like You

and that is totally okay

16.Do What You Love

the saying “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” couldn’t be more true. While I’ve never had a permanent job, I had a temp job once during the uni holidays that I loved, Every day was so exciting and it never felt like I was working. It opened my eyes to what I want to spend the rest of my life doing.

17.It’s Okay To Ask For Help

don’t ever feel embarrassed to ask for help. If you need it, Ask.

18. Exercise is Important (and Fun)

exercise doesn’t have to be dread worthy. join a gym, attend a class, find a routine you enjoy. I’ve taken up boxing and I’ve never felt fitter/healthier! Plus boxing is incredibly therapeutic, especially if you pretend the punching bag is someone you don’t like!

19. Don’t Rush.

My mum always tells me that life is a journey and once you’ve done everything, you’ve reached your destination and where do you go from there?

In other words, Don’t rush to do something. Don’t hurry into wearing make up just because everyone else is, Don’t rush into a relationship because everyone else is doing so. Live life at your own pace.

20. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

I frequently fall into this trap. I see others instagrams, that curated feed of the best parts of life and automatically think their whole lives are like that. That they’re so much more popular than me, happier than me, prettier than me, more exciting than me. Reality is, their photos are edited and they’ve chosen to show a small snipped of their lives. No one ever wants to share the mundane and the negative on social media, instead we like to share the things that are fun and exciting.

21. Learn to Forgive

holding a grudge requires so much energy. Wasted energy. It’s not always easy to forgive someone but the sooner you do, the sooner you can stop stewing over something and holding a grudge and the sooner you can move on with your life.

22. Subscribe to Buzzfeeds Dog a Day

they send you a different photo of a dog every day, need I say anymore? its like receiving a little bit of happiness every day